9 months in, 9 months out. A milestone
Third time around and it still feels like a big deal to have made it to baby Isla’s 9 month “birthday”. It starts to feel a tiny bit easier with the baby slightly more independent (for brief moments) and my body starts to feel more familiar. But this is just a mark upon a long timeline, not the end.
Postpartum has no ending, our bodies being forever changed with every pregnancy and birth, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t find our new normal. A newfound strength and resliance, a power perhaps that we hadn’t seen in ourselves before.
A progression towards physical and mental recovery is only possible if we have baseline health. This means that we’re not suffering with pain, discomfort or dysfunction (for example post c-section adhesions or pelvic floor dysfunction or depression). This journey is not meant to be done alone. I have seen osteopaths, pelvic floor physios and doctors in my recovery periods and this has been no different.
What can I recommend during these first 9 months?
Rest at first. It’s essential for what’s to come. For some reason we don’t seem to acknowledge birth for the huge physical task that it is. You would expect recovery time for any other major injury or operation. Plan your first few weeks and months accordingly so that you can harness any help that you can get.
Don’t be afraid of your body and of movement. Gentle movement will help with the early recovery. There’s no rush to get back to lifting heavy, running or whatever you did pre-pregnancy but also don’t be fearful of doing what you feel capable of.
Women’s health physio. See one. Get an assesment on where you are and seek help for anything that does feel or work correctly.
Know that this is the hardest part and very, very slowly it does get easier. They will cry less in the car, you can put them down a little bit, they can sit and eat with you. This stuff is hard because it’d hard and not because you’re failing.
Lean on people. This is something that I have been mindfully trying to do this time. With my eldest daughter I tried to show how strong I was by doing it all by myself. Now I accept that I cannot and have been grateful for any big or little tasks or acts of generosity. I say “yes” to people trying to help me.
You don’t have to listen to anyone for advice - you do what feels right in your gut. You know your baby best. If it feels right, do it. Don’t be guilted into something, especially from social media.
Here’s to everyone in the trenches of early motherhood right now. And here’s to the next 9 months. x
